Spooky Empire is Coming!

Mark your calendars for the fantastic Spooky Empire Convention coming to Orlando, Florida the weekend of October 7, 8, and 9, 2011. Yours truly will be putting together and running the Author Track of writers and creators discussion panels for the second year. Spooky Empire is one of the largest horror conventions in the United States, family friendly, and plenty to see and do for all. I hope to see you there!

Holy Mackerel!

Wanted to share a Boxing Day funny with you all that happened today:

Had my day made while shopping when I overheard two elder ladies having the following odd funny exchange:

One picked up some shockingly ugly shoes and exclaimed, “Holy Mackerel!”

To which her friend archly replied, “Would you cuss like that if Jesus was standing next to you?”

Then the first lady quipped, “There’s nothing wrong with saying ‘mackerel’. I think you’re just predjudiced about fish!”

Loved it! That had me smirking all day! They were awesome!

Bold

To boldly go … and upgrade to a BlackBerry Bold!

Okay, I’ve never been happier with a gadget in my life, and my phone is probably going to keep its current title, “Greatest Thing I Ever Spent Money On in My Life”, for a long time to come.

Some of the apps I’ve found for it are mind-bogglingly awesome, too. Yes, I have been known to kiss my phone. I just can’t help it.

Congratulations, Sierra on Graduation!

I’m a little early, since graduation is in June, but we’ll both be busier by then, right? Congratulations on winning the war (surviving high school)! I know you’ll aim high and go far, and someday the world will be clamoring to read your stories and poems!

The looong wait for May 7 (or, feening for Iron Man2)

I was very late in seeing Iron Man (in theaters back in May 2008). I intended to see it in the theater way back then, but like many movies, it was the one that got away (yes, I miss a lot of things I intend to see). Then I got busy and never noticed the DVD release, either, so…. Suffice to say, I finally saw it in March 2010 (on vacation, and my boyfriend had the DVD). It completely bowled me over, and I became instantly obsessed with seeing the sequel.

Alas, I have a long wait. Yeah, I know, April 9 is not that far away from May 7, but when you factor in how obsession can make time drag, it can seem like an eternity.

Well, I have to run – the people who have been waiting since May 2008 are gathering outside, and some of them have pitchforks….

AuntieMaim.com Relaunch!

It’s here! The newly refurbished and upgraded “world of Auntie Maim”! So give it peek and reset your bookmarks, folks! (The link is over on the right sidebar).

The best part is, I can now update the news page on the go when I’m at conventions, via my beloved BlackBerry!

Major thanks go out to my awesome Webmaster for the overhaul and relaunch!

Need a giggle? Get “Average”!

My friend Sierra introduced me to a great quick-fix for entertainment today: My Life Is Average (www.mylifeisaverage.com). Here’s a sample of some of the quotes on there that had me laughing for quite awhile:

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My little brother and my dad like to play the board game “Risk,” which simulates war. They have decided to make up a rule where you can take your troops that have already been killed and reuse them as zombies. As I type, they are engaged in a heated debate over the moral implications of zombie warfare.

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Yesterday my mom was decorating the Christmas trees with bunnies. My sister told her that the bunnies had nothing to do with Christmas at all. Today I found little post-it notes on the bunnies saying “equal rights” “we like all holidays!” and “save the bunnies!”

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Today I went to the library to take out rainbow fish to read to the group of kindergardeners I am student teaching. After I got done checking out the librarian looked at me and said “have fun reading rainbow fish” as if I was planning on reading it for recreation. I immediately said “actually it’s to lure children into my van.” Her face was priceless. MLIA.

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Thanks, Sierra! Once I bookmark this site on my Blackberry, I shall never be bored again!

Happy Birthday, Till Lindemann of Rammstein!

Ah, the voice of my favorite band is having another birthday. Hoist a brew (and maybe a chainsaw) to celebrate, man; you’ve earned it. By the way, the new album kicks booty. Hope to see you and the boys in the USA for it this year!

(For the uninitiated, one of Mr. Lindemann’s hobbies is to carve statues out of wood blocks – with a chainsaw. You’re hardcore, Till; just one of the reasons we adore you).

The Semantics of “Value”

What is the definition of “value”?

A bank (which shall remain nameless) is offering “valuable rewards” if you enroll your check card in their program. They’ll even kick in a bonus 650 points for signing up.

Here’s how it works: You use your card for nearly everything (including paying bills) and you get 1 reward point per each $4 spent (but you have to use it as credit, not debit, for it to count). Rack up those points, and turn them into valuable rewards! All this amazing stuff only costs you $12 annually!

Here’s the catch: Remember that 650 bonus points you get? That amounts to the value of a $5 gift card. That’s right, only $5. I know it’s bonus points, so you didn’t spend to get them, but just to illustrate how it works, you would have had to spend $2,600 in goods and services to earn those points. Therefore, you spend $2,600 to get a $5 reward (and you pay $12 annually for this privilege). According to the leaflet that was mailed to me, the “rewards” just keep getting better! For instance, once you have amassed 5,000 points, you can get a $50 gift card from Outback Steakhouse (but you had to spend $20,000 to get those points).

Now maybe my math is off (wouldn’t be the first time, as I hate math) but having to spend $4 to get one point is fairly straightforward math. How in this world can they claim this deal has anything to do with “value”? Granted, they assume this is spending you’d already be doing, so you may as well get something for it, right? Hmmm…. Then there’s that little matter of paying $12 a year. Why would I pay $12 a year for the privilege of spending $20,000 to get $50? If they dreamed this up in Vegas, it would definitely be the house plan, not a gambler’s idea! Take that $50 and minus the $12 – that’s $38. If I ever spend $20,000 in order to be given $38, I will expect one of my close friends to smack me in the head.

What’s the bottom line? Odds are, these “rewards” are being put up by the companies involved. I doubt if the bank is buying gift cards from Outback Steakhouse. Most likely they have their own deal going. I think the bottom line is that if enough people pay $12 a year, the bank could make a lot of money, essentially for nothing. I’m not all that versed in bank dealings, but maybe it helps them to have their card used so much, too, over other bank cards.

I suppose in the end, I’m arguing semantics. However, it is clear that this bank and I differ vastly in our definition of the word “value”.

Happy Birthday, Ozzy!

The OzMan is still kicking, and remains at the top of the Metal heap. Thanks for all of the fun, laughs, and monster songs, Ozzy, from someone who’s been a fan since the 80′s. Happy Birthday … and many more!